#74 - Battletoads

Perhaps it's my "inner child of the 90s" talking, but this is a well-done, amusing cover. Even their logo in the upper left-hand corner is cool.

Curse you, Stage 3!!!!

Ah 1991: the "rip the Ninja Turtles off" phase was just beginning, and Battletoads is a prime example, along with the TV shows "Street Sharks," "Cowboys of Moo Mesa," and "The Mighty Ducks" (starring actual ducks instead of peewee misfists). The latter three television shows are terrible examples of animation and storytelling, thus damning their chances of becoming anything more than rip-offs. Battletoads entertains beyond its origins because, well, it's an NES game, and NES games don't need captivating stories or multifaceted characters to be great. Yes, it's a rip-off, but its mission - to make an enjoyable beat-em-up - is a successful one.

Whereas most side-scrolling beat-em-ups employ the same fighting gameplay throughout every stage, Battletoads does vary a lot from stage to stage. In stage two, you're rappelling down a large hole, combating crows and mechanical obstacles along your descent. Stage three has some standard fighting, but it also has a racing section where you have to glide around and jump over obstacles. The game was developed by Rare, so the fundamentals are excellent as well. Graphics, music, and controls are all top notch. Along with the game's incredible difficulty, it's the variety and rich attention to detail in each level that's given Battletoads its longevity and respect among the gaming community.

Stage three is as far as I got with this game. It is hard, as in, beyond Mega Man hard. Unlike most beat-em-ups, playing with two players actually makes the game harder. In certain segments, like the racing segment, if one Toad dies, both Toads die. That's pretty ludicrous, honestly. I'm all for challenging difficulty, but in my opinion, the game takes it to the extreme and back. To be fair, Battletoads isn't like some NES games where the challenge stems from wandering around aimlessly, or from enemies that constantly bombard you. Each stage can be beaten with enough time and practice, but unfortunately, I'm on a time crunch with this whole "review a game a day" thing.

Battletoads is a game I should actually purchase for my Nintendo and I don't say that very often. The fact that the game's so darn difficult, yet so replayable (much like the Ninja Gaiden games) makes it an instant winner in my book. One day, I'd love to say I'm in the pantheon of accomplished Battletoads players. I don't recommend this game for everyone: if you're a fan of leisurely strolls through the park and warm summer days, you'd be advised to stay away from the Toads' quest. If, however, you like the feel of brass knuckles against your face or you like to sit outside in -20 degree weather and feel the frost grow on various body parts, step right up.

B+