A HEARTY DISCLAIMER: I have never indulged in the world of Dungeons and Dragons, so I do not pretend to know anything about its history, its world, its “characters,” etc. It was a road of nerdiness that I decided never to travel down, and I do not regret that decision. I was interested to play this game, though. What does a D&D game for the Nintendo look like, I asked myself? Point-and-click? Action RPG? A shooter where you play as a dragon that was specifically designed for the computer, and poorly ported over to the NES? Out of these options, I'll admit, I was leaning towards the first two. Instead, the game pretends to be the bastard predecessor of the film “Dragonheart.”
So here's the skinny, shee: you play a dragon, you fly around, you shoot stuff. It's the original Nintendo, but it controls like a computer game. The dragon can fly around anywhere on the screen, but his movement feels like it should be controlled by a mouse, not a chunky D-pad. Sometimes when you shoot projectiles at ships, people, other dragons, your attack hits them; other times, fuhgeddaboudit. For whatever reason, you start with a life bar that is only filled halfway, and it only takes a couple bullets or rocks thrown by neanderthals or an oversized rock wall to take you down completely. Never mind that you're, you know, a dragon.
Anyway, it doesn't matter. Nothing matters, ok? Nothing. I'm sick of playing crappy NES games and I'm only on the letter “A.” “A”! And there's three more of these D&D sure-to-be abominations! Don't play this game ever, even if Gary Gigax shows up in your dreams telling you you should.
D-
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