Showing posts with label drinking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label drinking. Show all posts

Thursday, February 24, 2011

#82 - Big Nose Freaks Out





















Big Nose is like your rowdy uncle who only arrives at family gatherings after shooting animals and drinking heavily.
















I'm lost. One of my loyal readers should caption this one. Just leave a comment and I'll change it accordingly.

More like Dylan, the noble, intrepid, handsome Nintendo player freaks out. I've never really been much of a partier and hippies who were all about peace, love, and feeling "groovy," have never jived well with me. Then again, this game isn't about "me." It's about Big Nose and what happens to him when his bones - which represent currency in the Cretaceous, apparently - are stolen by a war-mongering dinosaur. I could have told Big Nose this was going to happen: when you wage war against all the dinosaurs, as he did in the last game, of course the last remaining one was going to come after all your treasure! That's just COMMON SENSE. Anyways, hurtful words are exchanged, Big Nose is hit over the head, bones are stolen, and now, it's up to him to destroy the rest of the creatures on his island.

This time, instead of crossing the island by foot (which is so 3,000,000 BC, BTW), you roll across the island on a stone wheel. At first, I was conflicted. Big Nose's controls are a lot more slippery initially, but given some time, I think I prefer it to running around on foot. Alas, despite the convenience of said stone wheel the controls do like to destroy you at times by running you into enemies and not allowing you to jump as high as you think you should. Also, Big Nose often gets turned around simply by hitting walls, which can conjure up mild obscenities here and there. It's not a bad gig, though, and if you keep your club straight and true, it's hard to get hit.

His world is much more open-ended this time, as well. No longer do you just go in a straight line across each level with reckless bludgeoning abandon. The goal - should you desire to get farther in the game - is to collect a certain amount of bones hidden within the level. The more bones you collect, the more bonus items you may receive, such as extra lives or continues or powers. In some areas, the bones are hidden in insane places that you will only find through trial and error. It gives the game some longevity, which is appreciated, but truthfully, I can't see anybody but the most die-hard Big Nose fans wanting to "collect them all." Watch out for the mushrooms within each level: some of them breed extra bones to collect, while others can reverse your controls and cause epileptic seizures (in Freaky Forest level 2, hit the first mushroom you see).

Other gameplay elements remain the same as the first: collect the stones (I called them grapes last time, but they were colored purple for some reason - it's Camerica's fault, not mine!) to earn extra bashing and smashing powers. Otherwise, one-hit kill and you're dead. The game seems a lot more forgiving this time, though, which is good because your rolling stone can get you into trouble if you're not careful. Stones are placed more thoughtfully around the levels, and you're never really in danger of being without them. None of the enemies are that challenging, but the levels can get confusing the farther you progress.

I have to give Camerica credit: this is a slight improvement on the first game. Since the first Big Nose was popular enough that it warranted a sequel, I'm surprised they decided to add any new gameplay elements when they could have just swapped some level palettes, added some different enemies, and called it a day. Is Big Nose's freaking out entirely justified? I don't think so. Surely, there's plenty more bones out there to be had in such a vast prehistoric land; let the last dinosaur on earth have his day. But, from a more realistic, economic standpoint, having the word "freak" in the title probably sold a lot of copies to some children from the early '90s. Big Nose, you've done it again.

C

#81 - Big Nose the Caveman





















Happy hour is at 5 pm, not 5 am, Big Nose!
















You want to know what really killed the dinosaurs?... that's right, AIDS.

I go on journeys of self-discovery when I play through these games. For example, I discovered I have the attention span of a five-year-old who can spot mediocre send-offs of classic games. It took about ten minutes of playing through Big Nose the Caveman before I realized, "Yup, I know where this is going" and turned it off. Inevitable Mario comparison? Check. Adventure Island comparison? Double check. Your typical side-scrolling platformer starring a cave man? Why, of course! But hey, you're not looking for in-depth analysis when you read these reviews. You're looking for unbridled enthusiastic nonsense, and as this journey continues, I'm sure that's what more and more of these reviews will become.

Big Nose peaks out of his cave one muggy tropical afternoon, and realizes he's hungry. A pterodactyl flies over him, and he thinks to himself, "My goodness, that would make a fine turkey" (seriously, a little roasted turkey thought bubble pops over his head). And so, you begin your quest to track down this lone pterodactyl across all of Big Nose Island. Strangely, any of the enemies you encounter along the way - stegosauri, triceratopses, among other meaty, fleshy dinosaurs - could provide you meat. For some reason, you really desire some cold, stringy pterodactyl that will morph into a turkey the second you learn how to make a fire.

Of course if I were Big Nose, I wouldn't go to so much trouble. All the game consists of is jumping over lots and lots of chasms and bopping your former dinosaur friends on the head, all to satisfy your raging blood lust. Along the way, you collect bones and eat grapes. The more grapes you ravenously devour, the more rocks will shoot out of your club, but if you get hit, your rock-chucking ability will disappear and you'll only be left with your club. Your club is ok for regular dinosaur beating, but if you're facing a triceratops boss, watch out: they like to charge and it's next to impossible not to get hit.

Camerica and Codemasters double-teamed for this game, much like they did for the charming day-in-the-life bee simulator, Bee 52. The latter was a far superior game. Even though both Big Nose and Bee 52 are, at their core, simplistic platforming games, the concept behind Bee 52 was unique and interesting for its time. Big Nose is just another me-too platformer in a market already besieged by mediocre platformers. Perhaps instead of haunting a poor pterodactyl, Big Nose's nose should have grown larger and larger throughout the game, until the last few levels are fought with insane booger creatures from the planet Schnoz who have secretly been enlarging his nose for secret alien research. I'm already having fun.

C-