#199 - Dragon Warrior

                            Before Skyrim, Dragon Warrior was as big as they came.

Who would have thought the Slimes would become ubiquitous with Dragon Warrior/Quest?

The name Dragon Warrior carries very little cachet with anyone other than Americans who grew up playing RPGs on the NES. The name Dragon Quest is known by every Japanese man, woman, and child. Yet, both are one and the same series. In Japan, Dragon Quest is beloved by all for its tried-and-true game mechanics, wonderful character designs by Akira Toriyama, and charming stories by series creator Yuji Horii. In America, the Dragon Warriors were generally seen as paltry substitutes to the real RPG series, Final Fantasy. This is a shame. Although the graphics and mechanics were viewed as outdated even in 1989 when the game was released, there is a quaint charm to the game's simplicity that I find far more unique and entertaining than Final Fantasy's constant reinventions.

There's very little to explain about Dragon Warrior: You're a hero given the task of defeating the Dragonlord and saving the princess. You grind and grind and grind some more until you have the strength to face the Dragonlord and verily beat him unto death. Thankfully, the battle interface is surprisingly smooth. The randomness of the battles, while relatively annoying by today's standards, were common back then. For those that have not attempted this magnanimous quest, I have included a journal below of my most recent exploits within the game. It's been at least ten years since I last played it, though, so please be merciful in your judgments of my playthrough...

Five minutes: Comstock is my hero's name. Not sure what it means, but it just came to me and it fit perfectly. The king's giving me a speech about who I am and what my mission is: save the princess and kill the bad guy? I'm only one man, king! He sure does like to ramble and use ye olde Englysh. Why is there a separate menu option to open a door or use the stairs? This isn't a computer RPG, Enix. Get with the mid-Eighties console scene. The graphics are horrendous, but charming in a squatty, pixellated way. Why are there no shops or anything in the main town? I have 120 gold and I'm looking to spend, spend, spend. Guess I'll try and find some shoppes in a different town.

Ten minutes: Good thing the town Brecconary is right next door. Maybe they'll have some good items. Well... with my 120 gold, I can either purchase leather armor or a club, but not both. If I had 10 more gold, I could have both, which means I need to do some fighting. Enemies always have gold because they like to loot the corpses of already vanquished warriors; bastards.

Twenty minutes: Well, I bit off more than I could chew. After fighting my fair share of Slimes (and conquering them, like a boss), a Drakee came along and plowed me to "Thou Art Dead" status. To be fair, the Slimes hardly took off any damage or they would just biff their attacks completely. I assumed I could handle my Drakee and get my new club. Alas, since I died, half my gold has been taken as penalty. Now I have to grind even more, DAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! WHY AM I SO WEAK, WHY DO I ONLY HAVE 15 HIT POINTS TO START, WHAT KIND OF A WARRIOR AM I!

Thirty minutes: Apparently I suck at playing Dragon Warrior. It would seem that a weapon should have been my first purchase. Comstock can't hit the broad side of a slime to save his life. How can I miss all these attacks??? Why did I pick the wrong piece of hardware to purchase first? Oh wait, I know: I should have purchased the game back in 1989, as it came with a mini-strategy guide to help stupid Americans like myself. It's time to start over and buy a club. Hopefully it will guide my blows square and true.

Fifty minutes: This game is brutal. I started over (with the name Blahilk – sorry, Comstock) and bought the club first, which definitely helps to hit enemies. Unfortunately, because of your low hit points, it doesn't take more than two or three battles before you need to go drop six gold at the inn to replenish your health. What this amounts to: more grinding. In order to buy more equipment, you need more gold, which means you need to fight. In order to continue fighting and not lose half your gold should you die, you need to sleep and regain your health at the inn, which costs six gold. It's a vicious, brutal cycle that will require hours of steadfast perseverance. Hours that, at this moment, I do not have to spare.

Accepting an antiquated form of what we call an RPG is essential to enjoying this game. I personally have a fondness in my heart for the original Dragon Warrior, outdated though it may be. There's something about grinding in the open fields that brings me back to a simpler time. I won't say it's for everyone, especially more impatient gamers. I would actually recommend the Game Boy Color remake Dragon Warrior 1+II if you wanted to delve deep into the game, as it updates the graphics and makes the battles faster. If you're a die-hard NES junkie and you haven't explored one of the most influential RPGs of our time, you're doing yourself a disservice. Drop a dollar (seriously) and buy this landmark game.

A-

#198 - Dragon Spirit: The New Legend

                                                   The game's good, I swear!

                     Namco went for a more "blue raspberry" dragon in this game.

Dragon Spirit begins simply, brilliantly. In three lines or so, you're informed that a warrior named Amru, who can turn into a blue dragon, is off to beat the evil warlord Zawel. You're then thrust into a vertically scrolling shooter, with you controlling the blue dragon. After some brief skirmishes, you fight Zawel and destroy him. More cinematics inform you that Amru settles down and has a wife and twins. Amru dies suddenly, while one of the twins – the female, of course – is captured by the new evil entity of the land. It's up to Amru's son, Lace, to take up his father's sword – thus transforming into the dragon - save his sister and destroy the new evil that has arisen. Then the title screen appears, informing you that, yes, what you just played/watched wasn't the game: it was a prologue. Why is this important? It may be the first and only appearance of a prologue in the entire library of NES games. I was shocked to learn that the character Amru, who I assumed I'd be playing with through the entire game, died mere moments after destroying an albeit easy boss. We expect high-quality stories from the majority of games we play today, but all we expected from an NES game was good fundamentals, with a fragment of a story to keep us moving. Dragon Spirit, along with Ninja Gaiden, began to herald a new wave of storytelling in console games, whether the developers (Namco and Tecmo, respectively) knew it or not.

As a shooter, Dragon Spirit stands the test of time. "A" controls your main shooter, while "B" controls your ground-level bombs. Enemies will come at you from both the air and the ground equally, so it's essential to get the hang of both attacks. Power-ups are plentiful and unique. My personal favorite was the White Dragon, where your character sprouts two other heads that spit out two shots instead of one. Each level takes place around a nature setting, whether it be atop a volcano, amidst an iceberg, or just among the green plains. It's a nice change of pace from shooting aliens in space. The dragon controls are smooth, thankfully, and he moves as quickly as you think he should. Fans of vertical shooters should definitely look into this forgotten gem, and if you're not a fan but are looking to get into the shooter genre, Dragon Spiritis a good entry point. It has the challenge to keep you going, but not enough to overwhelm you.

B+

#197 - Dragon Power

                                                This is the American cover...

                                                 This is the Japanese cover...

                         
              This is a mid-boss battle. I wish the game were as fun as it looks.

Don't let the name Dragon Power fool you: this game is based on the original "Dragon Ball" manga. Finding out the latter fact doesn't do the game any favors, though. While I admire the quirky Japanese feel of the game, the actual gameplay is rough and tumble. You play as Goku, the beloved main character from "Dragon Ball" and your goal is to hit everything in sight, either with your fists or a Power Pole. The game has a top-down view, so while your progression isn't strictly side-scrolling, it's still linear. Most of the enemies are slow and can be felled easily, but always watch your health or POW meter. It's constantly decreasing, for one thing, but the hit detection can be terrible, especially when fighting enemies with swords or other long-reaching weapons. One life, just like Dragon Fighter means you'll be paying your dues and starting from Level 1, no matter how far you've gotten. Besides the supposedly authentic "Dragon Ball" flavor of the game (several of the characters' names have been changed), there's not much to recommend here. If the game didn't have such poor hit detection, I'd say it could get by on charm and name value alone. I personally didn't have the patience to suffer beating after beating nor did I care enough about "Dragon Ball" to power through Dragon Power. Worth it only for dedicated fans.

C-

#196 - Dragon Fighter

Somebody made this cover and thought, "Yes, this will draw in all the 10-14-year-old males."

                                 The bosses are pretty awesome in this game.

No game wants to be saddled with the name Dragon Fighter. It sounds like a cheap Street Fighter II knock-off or an early 90s television show a la "Beast Master." Either way, it's a terribly bland name. Thankfully, Dragon Fighter surprises with its solid combat, fantastic graphics, and derivative, yet enjoyable music. There's nothing in Dragon Fighter that hasn't been done better in other games, but it's still worthy of a playthrough. The gameplay is vaguely Ninja Gaiden-esque with a hint of Mega Man sans blaster. You play as a shapeshifter, a dragon/man hybrid. In your human form, you slash at any and all things with your trusty rapier, but jump up and tap 'A' twice and you become a dragon. Your dragon form is powered up by killing lots of enemies. Don't worry: enemies are plentiful and will fling themselves at you. It can get a bit overwhelming at times, but many of the enemies can be avoided if need be. Once you're in your dragon form, the game becomes a horizontal shooter, albeit a slow one. Personally, I avoided turning into a dragon until the boss battles. The game functions perfectly well as a side-scroller, and shapeshifting while trying to fend off several enemies at a time often hampered the experience. Dragon Fighter is a one-life-and-that's-it type of game, but there are codes to boost your health and I highly recommend them. Dragon Fighter doesn't surprise in any way and sometimes feels like an amalgam of your favorite NES side-scrollers, but when a game gets all the fundamentals right, it feels petty to complain.

B

#195 - Dr. Mario

The cure for what? Ugly buck-toothed, shrimp-eating, multi-colored gnomes?

                            I die a little inside every time I see this screencap.

Is Dr. Mario a puzzle game, as we think of puzzle games today? Think about that question, but first, a memory. I rented Dr. Mariowhen I was five or six because, well, Mario was on the cover. And he was wearing a doctor's coat! When did he have time to get his Ph.D in between Super Mario Bros 1, 2, and 3? The guy's a dynamo! Anyway, Tetris had been out for a year or so, and everyone and their moms (literally) had already played it and played it and played it. Playing Dr. Mario, my five-to-six-year-old mind comprehended that, because there were objects falling from the sky a la Tetris, then Dr. Mario must be a puzzle game because Tetris was my only frame of reference as to what a puzzle game was. In Tetris, one must handle the differently-shaped blocks that fall from the sky. Re-arrange them so that they disappear, and after every tenth line, you will progress to a new level and the blocks will drop more quickly. Dr. Mario'smain screen is set up similarly to Tetris, but instead of blocks, you must utilize red, blue, and yellow pills (or a combination thereof) to eliminate the similarly colored viruses on screen. Once you eliminate them all, each passing level contains more viruses for you to deal with. The "puzzle" element comes in recognizing what colored pill needs to go over what virus as quickly as possible. You have to have insane reflexes and scan the screen quickly, before Mario – ahem, excuse me – Dr. Mario starts hucking pills like a madman, if you hope to progress beyond the first few levels. It's difficult, sure, but is it a puzzle game? Consider all the puzzle games you know. Most of them require a combination of strategy, quick thinking, and sometimes, fast reflexes. In Dr. Mario, you only need fast reflexes. Quick thinking and strategy do not play into the game. I'm open to debate, and in fact, would love some. Leave a comment!

I wish Dr. Mario were more interesting, but I can't seem to love the little guy. The game entranced me when I was a kid, but recent play sessions have left me cold. Head-to-head is still fun, especially on later versions. The good doctor will always live on in my nostalgic dreams, but in 2011, he's just an average Joe.

C

#194 - Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

                                                    Ah, the late 80s...

                                              Just whistlin' anuther Irish ditty

 What a horrible night to have a curse, indeed. I'm not sure whether to call this game an abominable pile of excrement, a meditation on the torment in controlling one's dual nature, or an insight into the hypocrisy of the wealthy and powerful. Perhaps it's all of the above, but let's not draw conclusions just yet. What say we begin in reverse order, eh wot! To the parlor room for a cigar and some brandy!

Insight into Hypocrisy: Dr. Jekyll's goal for the afternoon is to take his daily constitutional through the town, the cemetery, the park, and the street. He has his humble walking cane about him and he can jab it at people and animals, but he doesn't wish to bring harm upon anyone, so he keeps it by his side. However, the townsfolk, who are all very well-to-do, wish to do harm to Jekyll and enrage him, so that he will turn into Mr. Hyde. Case in point: the gentleman with the top hat - who may or may not be a Bolshevik revolutionary disguised as a dignitary – leaving bombs next to the good doctor. He does it over and over again, and yet, does anyone enforce the law in the town? Supposedly decent women ensconced in ruffles and topped off with a parasol snicker and pass the doctor while the offense is occurring, as if nothing is happening. Should Jekyll decide to raise his cane and defend himself, he should suffer the consequences and slowly turn into Mr. Hyde. Fair? Reasonable? Impropriety, as my shirt is stuffed!

Meditation in Dual Nature Control and All That

There comes a point during Dr. Jekyll's engagement with the cobblestone where the enemies simply disappear. The young rapscallions that were shooting rocks at him cease their war cries. Dogs decide he isn't worth the effort to bite. Crows realize there are other places to defecate than on a man's head. Then, and only then, is Dr. Jekyll's walk a tranquil one. He is free to take in the surprisingly detailed backgrounds of the town where he has lived and practiced "medicine" for the past twenty-five years; a town where, until recently, he believed he had friends. Yes, the backgrounds of the town and the cemetery are varied and colorful, and when taken as a simple visual construct, are impressive. Having this spare time also allows you to reflect on your unfortunate nature. Perhaps the townspeople know of your fate and are trying to destroy you in a very public and boorish spectacle. However, that wouldn't be very proper. How best to fix your untimely and ill-begotten curse? Once you begin to devise a plan, your walk will be interrupted. The Bolsheviks never hold back their bombs for long.

Is This Pile of Confusion Really Supposed to be a Game?

You don't actually do anything in Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. You don't have an attack, you just avoid everything. Getting hit by a bomb is the worst because it will automatically reduce you to Hyde status. Once in Hyde status, the scenic world as you know changes into an obscene hellhole. The Snooty McSnootersteins are revealed for the misshapen ghouls they really were, but hey, you can punch them now without fear of reprisal. Once you progress to the place you were as Jekyll as Hyde, the game ends and Hyde collapses on the ground, dead. What? I wanted to play a game, not input a bunch of my own useless subtext. Still, the fact that I inferred all of that tripe is kind of impressive. I also admire the chutzpah this game has, where the goal is to do absolutely nothing across six demented stages. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde might be one of the the lamest, most useless games ever created, but it got me thinking and wondering and questioning. Much like the game's namesake(s), I'm conflicted.

B-

 

#193 - Dr. Chaos

                        I wanted to rent this game as a child. I'm glad I didn't.

This is the side-scrolling portion of the game. I would have liked a little more yellow puke color in the game, to be honest.

Dr. Chaos, you stand charged with confusing/boring the hell out of the good gamers who have tried to play your game. What say you?! I know what I say: Dr. Chaos tries desperately to be a hybrid of a side-scrolling action game and a first-person adventure, but like so many "experiments" on the NES in the late '80s, it ends up exploding in one's face. You, as an 8-bit Bob Saget, are thrust outside of a mansion with bats, rodents, and other miscellaneous vermin to stab. Once you enter one of the several doors outside the mansion, the perspective switches to first-person. From here, you collect handgun bullets, grenades, health, and... that's it, I guess? All you do are open doors, windows, cabinets and collect things. The interface can be confusing. You can move north, south, east or west in any of the doors you enter, but in order to do so, you have to move the hand cursor all the way to the left or right of the screen. There doesn't seem to be any pattern or reason to these areas. Collect what you can, then make it outside, but there's nothing to do outside either. Am I saying that Dr. Chaosis a completely pointless game? No, because perhaps in one's hours-long progress with the game, something could very well happen. In my relatively brief playthrough, however, nothing did.

D

Also, I am aware that Doctor Chaos should have come before Donkey Kong as far as alphabetization goes. However, for my reviews, I am following the alphabetized list over at Nintendo Age and they place "Dr." after "Do," so there you have it.